This is the closest I can be to a "brief synopsis" of the wedding. Verbose as I am, brief is definitely relative.
Most comical but not-great-thing, that gives us all something to talk about for years to come: I've said how we had those different cakes set up on a silver and glass graduated tier server to take the place of the hideous wedding cake (which everyone was calling the Corpse Bride's cake). WELL, just before the toasts, as people were still eating and the upcoming cake-cutting was still in the future, an old man came from across the room and approached the cake table. He went right up to it, grabbed the fancy knife and server and SLICE - cut himself a HUGE chunk of the shaved chocolate torte which served as the top tier. After he did that,before someone could rush over to guard the cake, a woman then came - from the same table as the man - and approached the cake table. She was about to slice a different cake when the bride and groom quietly yelled (you know, polite loud voice), "Please, don't!!! That's the wedding cake!" She turned to them and glared and said, "Well, I'm allergic to vanilla and I want some of that chocolate cake." There was a stand off of stares and she left. However, she wasn't done....I had gone to the kitchen to help uncork the wine. She came to the door way, looked us all over and zoomed in on me. "I WANT SOME OF THAT CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!!! I am allergic to vanilla cake. I want THAT." Now, mind you, dessert hadn't even been announced yet. I politely told her that the bride and groom had to do the cake cutting ceremony first and then I'd be happy to make sure that she got a piece of that cake. She huffed a bit and left. (BTW, most chocolate cake recipes have vanilla extract in them anyhow). The photographer turned the top tier around so that the chunk missing would be hidden if he took the pictures from a slightly lower angle. The woman then made sure to get there as quickly as she could. In fact, everyone from that table ignored their cake (instructions were given for that) and ate from those wedding cakes.
Moment that made me cry: We slaved for hours decorating -- and we were also responsible for the clean up. We wanted the room to be clean/neat for a Sunday School class that meets in the back half and for a shower that is being held today. We were paying the janitor to help out, but there was
a lot to do. (A hundred dishes and tableware with them, etc). Several people pitched in - but the roads were icy (We were having a horrible sleet storm) so we encouraged them to hurry home. At 11pm, into the church came Paul & Kim who live only 1/4 mile from the church. They said, "We couldn't come to the wedding because it was the senior partner's annual Christmas party... but we came to see if you needed help cleaning!" Now that is walking the walk. My daughter cried when I told her.
Another meltdown and solution: Right before we left for our hair appointment, my youngest daughter began freaking out because she "hates her arms" and her dress is strapless. Although this should have been something she said weeks ago, I can't bear the thought of anyone enduring dozens of pictures being taken of them and a hundred eyes upon them, feeling like they look ugly or whatever. SO...fried as I was, I dropped them off at the hair appointment and drove to the nearest Macy's. It was about 10 miles away...10 miles fraught with traffic lights and I hit every one. My body began having a panic attack, without my mind/emotions being evolved, if you can imagine that. First I could feel all my muscles tense up, then I started shaking all over, got dizzy, etc. I just kept telling myself to breathe deep. I stopped at, of all places, McDonald's and got a Sprite off the dollar menu because I felt maybe I was having low sugar or something. I got into Macy's on trembling legs, looking white as a ghost I'm sure. Feeling "out of body" the whole time, too. Fortunately, I found the perfect (albeit ridiculously priced) silver shawl. Crisis averted, self-esteem saved.
Hair Scare: By the time I got back to the hair salon, Erin's hair was done and it was gorgeous. Rhianna's was being worked on and ended up looking great. Jenna had needed time to decide and look at more pictures. She finally found something she liked and Christine began working on it. It was really pretty. At one point, Jenna was completely satisfied and said it was perfect. AND THEN for some bizarre reason Christine said she wasn't done yet. She proceeded to do something to the front and top of Jenna's hair that made it really tall. Her husband is short. Anyhow, protesting politely, Jenna tried to get her to get it back the way it was. She couldn't or wouldn't. It ended up "modified." Jenna went out to the van, called Josiah to come get her and went home...and took it out and when I got home I had to help her fix it. It did end up looking beautiful but... Anyhow, my hair came out great - but I was so busy feeling spaced out, screwed up and like I just might pass out for the first half, I don't know how she did what I wanted.
Last minute glitches: Erin forgot to bring her pantyhose, so the groom rushed out to buy her a pair. The woman who normally coordinates the weddings is having a family crisis so... they were having couples communion and nothing was prepared. The pastor ran out and grabbed one of the croissants from the buffet and they filled the cup with moments to spare.
Also, the runner was tacked down near the top. As Jenna was walking up the stairs, a tack came out and went into her shoe and stuck her foot. She tried to discreetly kick the tack out of her shoe, but the shoe went with it. She couldn't neatly get it back on, so she took off the other shoe. The shoes dragged, unseen, under her skirt throughout the ceremony UNTIL they arose from the kneeler and turned to face the congregation for the traditional glass-breaking (her husband is of Jewish ancestry). The pastor helped lift her train and swirl it gracefully outward and when she stepped forward again - there were the shoes about 6 feet away from her.
That's anything but brief, I suppose. The best part though - the service was absolutely wonderful. My daughter looked stunning and radiant, in spite of all near-disasters. She and Josiah had a glorious time. Everyone raved about the food. The ugly cake game was a big hit. Our friend who MCed the event did an awesome job.
AND I'm thanking God that it is all over!!!!!
When I recover (I feel like garbage), I will be by to visit everyone's pages.
