Unfortunately, the decision is being made to unplug this poor little guy from life support. MRIs were done, some type of brain scan, and bascially the results say that he is brain-dead. Such a brief life.
Right now, I'm actually feeling a bit of empathy for the man who did this, the father. I'm by no means excusing him... it's not like sympathy for the devil - it's a sobering moment of thinking that this young man's life is ruined. He has to forever live with the guilt of what he has done in a fit of frustration and anger. His wife is filing for divorce. While he's out on bail, any eyes that see him will look upon him like a monster. When he's alone, he'll have his own thoughts to torment him, images of his little baby to haunt him.
The story is that the baby was crying, crying, crying. Wouldn't stop crying. He called his mother to get help. She wasn't home. (The baby's mother was out). He wanted help, but could find none. He thought that he tried everything. The frustration was building. All the lack of sleep that impaired his judgment, the stress of new parenthood, the feelings of inadequacy - "Why won't the crying stop? What can I do?" - boiled together and in a moment, one moment, he snapped. Gone was sanity. Gone was any shred of sensibility.
Who knows why he didn't just put the baby down and leave the room? I think he'll be forever asking himself that question. To know that there was this wonderful child with promise, potential, with happy baby smiles to bless the world with, little feet that one day would take their first steps...and to know that he is responsible for snuffing out every hope, crushing all of the potential this precious life held. The guilt and remorse must be heavier than I can possibly imagine.
There are an estimated 1,200 to 1,400 cases of shaken babies in the United States each year. Only one in four of these babies die. The other three need ongoing medical care for the rest of their short lifespans. Almost 80% of the perpetrators are male...in fact, 50% are the natural parents of the child. More than 60% of shaken babies are male children. I believe I've read somewhere that male babies tend to cry more...that would explain it the greater percentage of boys injured.
I think that as part of Childbirth Education classes that a session should be spent on the "beyond childbirth" period. Hospitals should make it a mandatory part of the training. I think if more parents realized that they are not immune to loosing control and posted on their refrigerators or kept in a pocket these tips, a difference in these statistics could be made.
Ways To Soothe A Crying Baby
- Take the baby for a walk outside in a stroller or for a ride in the car seat.
- Hold the baby against your chest and gently massage the baby.
- Rock, walk, or dance with the baby.
- Be patient; take a deep breath and count to ten.
- Call a friend or relative that you can trust to take over for a while, then get away, get some rest, take care of yourself.
- Offer a pacifier.
- Lower any surrounding noise and lights.
- Offer the baby a noisy toy; shake or rattle it.
- Hold the baby and breathe slowly and calmly; the baby may feel your calmness and become quiet.
- Sing or talk to the baby using soothing tones.
- Record a sound, like a vacuum cleaner, or hair dryer.
| | Meet Basic Needs - Feed the baby
- Burp the Baby
- Change the diaper
- Make sure clothing isn't too tight
- Make sure baby isn't too hot, or too cold.
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If All Else Fails… If you suspect the baby is ill, has a fever, swollen gums, etc.
CALL A DOCTOR!.
 | Children in school should have parenting classes...For most people it's the most important job you'll ever have....And so vital!...In these situations family support is ALL!!!!!!!
Ann, will light a candle and say a prayer for the poor child.....I wish it were more.... |
 | How terribly sad! That poor child!
And how terrible for the parents! I really feel for the father - you are so right, his life is ruined and the guilt must be overpowering.
And that poor mother, who lost everything - a baby and a husband.
I pray God will have mercy on him and give her strenght ... and help them both to overcome this tragedy! |
| you need a license to drive a car, get married, cut hair, give manicures, own a business, but anyone can become a parent! What a shame, I cry for your loss, and I ask the the good lord have mercy on the fathers soul! |
 | What a sad waste of all these lives... a mother who will never be the same after the loss of her child......and her husband because she could never trust him again.... a wee small innocent child gone for no reason.......and a man whos whole life is gone over one wrong thing done perhaps out of frustration. I agree with all the others here tho............parenting is the most important job here that basically no training is given until theres a crisis. Its all backwards and too late. |
| such a very sad story ... such good information ... I am sorry for the loss and your loss Glynis ... and what will follow .. |
 | How horrible.
There may be excuses, but there is no justifiable reason.
I turn into something almost like a "hanging judge" when it comes to attacks against babies, children and the elderly.
How simply horrible for that dear little baby. |
|  I turn into something almost like a "hanging judge" when it comes to attacks against babies, children and the elderly.  and attacks against those that are different is ok like gays, blacks, homeless? |
 | My heart goes out to the Mother of that baby. I can't even imagine ... how would you get through that ... everything she knew has been destroyed.
I can certainly understand when you said you felt empathy for the father ... how many nights at 3AM did I sit on the sofa with a screaming baby and wonder "WHAT DO YOU WANT".
I don't think though that any class can prepare someone for what it's like to be a parent of something so helpless.
God ... walking out of the room or even the house for that matter and letting them scream is SO ok ... that is something that should be reinforced into new parents minds ... |
 | You do hear too much of this on the news; how sad for all concerned. We even had classes on proper bathing techniques when I delivered my daughter...I know I'm older than you; but I wasn't aware common sense things weren't discussed routinely during pregancy, during lamaze, even at baby showers, as well as at the hospitals. I don't think I ever left the doctor's office without a new pamphlet regarding something to do with child care. A hospital nurse told me they have to assume no one knows and teach to the lowerst education level, so they were classes and I don't recall having a choice. If they're no longer doing that, or perhaps even location makes a difference then yes they need to do it again,even if you're not a new parent.
I posted a note to see if someone might know why you can't see the comment box on my blog when everyone else can...I didn't get any answers, and I'm not techy enough to know myself. So swing by and give it a go. It's not even a question of a dark background and needing to run the mouse over (I remember having that happen here with your green in the beginning), as my background is white so easy to see. Let me know.
Happy St. Patricks Day
Sandy |
| He needs some anger management help. Babies cry, but not everyone shakes them. |
| And the poor mother is left to deal with loss of losing her baby, by herself. Though I can't imagine that could have any marriage left after this, how could she ever forgive him. The whole thing is just very sad, and very very unnecessary. You didn't say, how old is the couple. I can't help but wonder if these were kids too young to have kids of their own. Seems a common thread among these types of problems. |
 | You are a wise woman to give the father empathy. He has a lot going on in his life right now and I'm sure he's now thinking that the stress he's feeling right now is even worse than the crying baby. It sounds like this family is going to need a lot of prayers right now. |
 | I feel bad for the dad too. I'm very fortunate and blessed that I never did anything to seriously harm my children. Physically anyway. They've been through my addiction with me though and I am praying for them all as I remember that there but for the grace of God go I. |
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