When I first heard about this book by Denise Jackson, wife of country superstar, Alan, I thought it was just some sappy celebrity wife talking up her fairy-tale romance with her celebrity husband. Rags to riches, rise from nothing to material super abundance, Stand by Your Man drama, where a woman belittles or martyrs herself for some adulterous lout, does not appeal to me. What kind of a title is "It's All about Him", anyway? I couldn't believe any woman would be so self-deprecating, so much at loss for her own identity, to say that her world completely revolved around her husband...and then broadcast it to the world. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I'm a book snob. There was no way I planned on buying a book like this, one that I looked down my nose at. It wouldn't be "deep enough" for me. Pffff. Seeing a piece of an interview with Denise Jackson while I was at the gym one day started to change my mind.

Apparently, it wasn't about *him* meaning her husband... it was about Him, meaning the Lord Jesus Christ. Still, what could some celebrity wife tell me about that which I couldn't better learn from Lewis or Tozer? Upon reading another article about the book, I discovered... maybe a lot.

I ordered the book. Amazon couldn't ship it right away, so busy with reading other things, I put it out of my mind. Until it arrived yesterday. As is my usual habit, I read a few pages in the beginning, flipped to the back of the book to read then end...and read a few pages in the middle. I was floored. Here was a woman who claimed no great writing skills or powers of persuasion, and yet was digging deep into my spiritual dead spots, watering a desert wasteland, reminding me and awakening me to my developing complacency.

Denise Jackson uses a simple analogy in the back of her book that spoke volumes to me. In the chapter "Drive," she speaks of being behind the wheel of the imaginary vehicle of our life. Warning: I'm completely paraphrasing this analogy from my own perspective now: We accept Christ, and let Him come along for the ride. More often than not, we want Him in the backseat...there if we need Him, but you're still in control and not really wanting to crane your neck around to listen to His backseat driving. So life happens, maybe you wake up a bit and realize...you do NEED Him. You start studying the Word and you realize you want more, you need more of Him. You invite Him to move on up to the passenger seat, where He can sit alongside you and hold the map for you. You choose the direction you want to head and you expect Jesus to guide you along the best route. You expect Him to steer you clear of any bumpy or difficult roads and provide companionship along the way. All is well and good, until the moment you realize that you can't control the vehicle. And in that fear is where you find freedom - like in Carrie Underwood's song, you cry out "Jesus, Take the Wheel." That involves more than just letting Him drive you out of a difficult situation...it involves giving up control and letting Him choose the direction. It's a place of complete trust where you believe that the destination He has in mind for you is far better than any destination that you could choose yourself, even if the roads do seem to twist and turn and the ride isn't always smooth and easy.

I thought about my own "drive" through life. The past few years have seen me driving down some pretty rocky roads, with steep precipices following sharp turns. Roads I did *not* want to be driving on! Having Him drive scared the tar out of me, because I doubted - I didn't feel strong enough to go where He wanted me to go. In spite of head knowledge that He would not let me be tempted by more than I could bear and that He'd provide the escape, in spite of assurance that death, nor life, nor angels or demons, etc, and so forth would be unable to separate me from His love... I dug in my heels and resisted. I wanted comfort, a nice well-paved expressway, midday with no rush hour traffic, please. Instead of drawing close to Him in difficulty, I think I've consigned Jesus to the passenger seat, although I think I've allowed Him to drive here and there - in particularly rough spots. I've become adept at wrenching the wheel back when the crisis is over. And many times, I know I've said by my actions and my choice of driving pals, "Get in the backseat, Buddy, I'll call You when I need You."

In this book, I was startled to find a very real woman with some of the same insecurities and issues that I deal with daily - who professed faith in Christ yet made some of the same mistakes I've made. A woman who thought she understood faith, suddenly discovered the greatest love of all - she found that having everything and having nothing are the same, because if you don't have a love affair with Christ, life is empty. It's a love story about the only love that matters and about that Someone who loves you so completely, no matter who you are, what you have or what you've done.

And to shame my inner snob - she quotes Lewis, Tozer, Philip Yancey... and more importantly the Word of God. It's a book about forgiveness, about restoration, about revelation. It's about what real happiness is and the only way it can be obtained.

It's interesting: I was about to make some very big, very stupid mistakes. God first used someone that professes to have fallen away from Him to remind me of who I am and what I believe. (That someone wasn't willing to see me screw up and fall away, which gives me hope that God is working on drawing that one back into the fold). And then God shoved this book under my turned-up nose and gave me a wake up call. He uses the foolish things to shame those who think they are wise (then of course, we find out that they really weren't so foolish after all).

This means, it's time to get back on the Road. Time to scoot over, out of the driver's seat and buckle myself up in the passenger seat...and commit to staying there. It's so hard to "let go" but the fact that He has been chasing me down, that I somehow have that amazing and astounding Grace, Love, Care looking out for me...wow ... it's Providence and that's nothing to sneeze at.

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 "This is what the Lord says - he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters... forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

~o~

Friday's workout:
5 minutes dreadmill, 8.2%, 4.0 mph. 45 minute circuit. 30 minutes Octane/Cybex. Later:

55 minute racewalk with Jenna.

My circuit:
barbell lunge 16/80
prone pullup 5
seated cable row, 15/120
REPEAT TWO MORE TIMES
--Sprint on the Sci-fit, 5.6% incline 1:00
barbell chest press 12/80
cable terry pull 12/50
step up, 12" step, 24/40
REPEAT TWO MORE TIMES
--Sprint on the Sci-fit, 5.6% incline 1:00
dumbbell deadlift 10/60
dumbbell fly on stability ball 12/60
concentration curl 12/30 each side
REPEAT TWO MORE TIMES
--Sprint on the Sci-fit, 5.6% incline 1:00
squat press 12/30
scorpion pushups 16
boat pose, hold 30 seconds
reverse crunches, 30
bicycle 30
REPEAT ONE TIME

Saturday: One hour cardio at the gym

Yoga...later...much later. :)