I’m a sap for the holidays. Ever since I was small, it wasn’t all about the presents to me. It was about the atmosphere – the decorations, the smiling people saying “Merry Christmas” to strangers – and meaning it, candy canes and candlelight Christmas Eve services. It was about Light in a dark world.
Traditions are of major importance to me – they give a family a sense of security and stability, of personal identity. Over the years I’ve worked hard so that there will be little things and big things that are long remembered.
First, I might as well blow some minds by saying: we don’t do Santa Claus. Never have. Have my kids missed out on a great part of Christmas? They sure don’t think so. I could never get over the fact that it was lying to them. More than that, it was assigning the characteristics of deity (knows when you’ve been bad or good, sees you when you’re sleeping, etc) to a cartoon-ish creation. That always riled me. What riled me more was the fact that Santa Claus brings the wealthier kids way, way more than the poor kids. When I was a kid, I noticed that and resented it greatly. I wondered why did I get more than this girl, but less than that girl…and why did that family have so very, very little? If Santa Claus was really good, then he would shower the have-nots with more. He didn't, so even though I was raised to believe, I thought he sucked. I wasn’t surprised when my big sister finally told me it was a lie. In fact, knowing that it was a lie was a relief to me, because I really, truly like honesty, justice and fairplay.
So, my kids have grown up with a Santa-less Christmas but ask any of them and they will gleefully express their excitement at Christmases here and have no regrets. They always thought he was kind of scary from what other kids said. Never saw the charm.
It begins for us four Sundays before Christmas. We decorate the tree after Thanksgiving and set an Advent Wreath on the dining room table. That Sunday night we gather in the dining room by the light of the Christmas tree and light the first candle on the wreath. We have to light a few votives as well so that there is enough light to read by. We then sing two or three carols, read a passage of Scripture and then a devotional. One of our favorites over the years was Focus on the Family’s “Christ in Christmas: A Family Advent Celebration.” When the kids were younger, we did many of the goofy activities listed. What a blast! In fact, we found an old video tape of us doing one of them. I need to get it transferred to DVD. My daughter has threatened to put it on YouTube. We are all wearing elaborately decorated paper bags over our heads, disguised as the three wise men and Herod, acting out Matthew 2:1-12. It is hilarious. We close by praying and singing a few more carols.
Each Sunday that follows, another candle is lit and more of what we believe is the “reason for the season” unfolds. It’s an integral part of our holidays, but not the only part. Every year we pick an angel off the Angel Tree and buy presents for some child whose Christmas might not be as merry. We also do either Operation Shoebox or the Prison Shoebox Ministry. Last year, a tree was set up at the gym with needy senior citizens listed on each paper ornament. We felt that was a wonderful idea and did that as well. I remember that the elderly gentleman we received wanted such practical things: a smoke alarm, a large flashlight with extra batteries, etc.
Another tradition is putting out the manger set that my Uncle Buddy bought home from my mother from Germany when he was stationed there during World War II. I loved it as a child and would play with it all the time, so my mother made sure that it went to me. I will have a difficult time deciding which of my girls gets it because they all make a point of ooo-ing and ahh-ing over it and recounting their memories of playing with Polly Pockets going to see Baby Jesus, or My Little Ponies following the Star and bowing at the manger.
There are also cookie exchanges that we take part in every year. Christmas plays. Caroling at nursing homes or in car caravans that stop at the homes of shut-ins, where we all pile out and sing. This year we are taking our AWANA club to a local nursing home to sing, armed with homemade cards and cookies for the residents. When my father was there for rehab, it broke my heart to see the lonely, lonely people who look forward to events like this…just to see and be around young people is such a blessing to them. There is a flurry of December activity with the Christmas parties and visits, usually Jingle Bell 5K for me if it can be fit in.
Of course, every time we get in the car we start singing carols. “Deck the Halls” with the sound of various animals was always a favorite. The top carols around here, though, are “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “ “Silent Night,” but we sing every carol we can think of and all of the verses, too. It is amazing, when you sing through “Hark, The Herald Angels Sing,” you’re getting the gospel, right there.
When Christmas Eve approaches, the baking begins in earnest. Our “big deal” is Christmas Eve, more so than Christmas Day. We prepare a special meal. This year, some things will have to be removed from that meal due to the deadly food allergies Rhianna has developed. No more shrimp! No more squid and octopus (which I am THRILLED are off the menu). To join in the party, we always invite another family or a couple of people who are out of sorts for the holiday.
When everyone is ready, the night begins with caroling. It is then followed by lighting the last candle on the wreath and praying. We then do our devotional and the activity that everyone loves best…. We have a gift-wrapped box with a slit cut into the top. Everyone is given a paper and pen to write down what they have been most thankful for in the past year and what some prayer concerns are for the next year, what goals they have, etc. When the new papers are done, we open the side of the box and remove the papers from last year and seal it up. Upon sealing, the new papers are stuffed in…and the old papers are passed out to be read aloud (unless they are personal and there is a request to keep anything back). It’s a great way to remind us how God blessed us in years past and how He answered prayers or changed our hearts in the current year.
We pray. We sing some more. And we eat! When everyone is full and ready, off we go to the Christmas Eve Candlelight service and sing and praise some more.
Upon arriving home, the kids are allowed to open one present – whatever my brother, Kerry, has sent from New Hampshire. After a little time enjoying whatever it may be, it’s off to bed. In the morning, always too early, everyone wakes up for presents. Stockings first, then what is under the tree. The kids developed themselves this idea that each one took a turn opening a gift while everyone else watched to see what it was. No haphazard ripping into boxes for them!
A leisurely breakfast follows and any cooking for whatever or wherever we are doing for the big dinner that day. As well as another read-through of the Christmas story. “It’s a Wonderful Life” must be watched on Christmas Day as well as “A Christmas Carol.” The newer one with Patrick Stewart is now my favorite. During that week we also watch this total tear-jerker about this orphan boy adopted on a wagon train west by a woman who lost her two kids to cholera or something similar.
My daughter, Jenna, is anxious for her husband to become a part of our traditions – and to make some of their own. She’s determined that we will reenact the Wise Men with the bags over our heads again so that he too can share in the hilarity. His family also never really did stockings, so I’ve promised to stuff a stocking for him. I’ve already found a few cool things to throw in it. For some reason, making stockings has been a favorite tradition of mine. I *love* to find things to fill a stocking to overflowing. The kids always laugh, because if there was any candy in there, they can count on getting EXACTLY the same amount. Yep, I would actually count Hershey’s Kisses or whatever – and I also made sure that they had an equal amount of whatever color the wrapper was.
I’m sure there is more that I’ve forgotten, and there are many traditions throughout the year. One thing that I determined long ago: to be like Ebenezer Scrooge and keep Christmas in my heart all year long.
Isaiah 9:2 The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,on them has light shined.
~o~
I’m not going to the gym just yet, but I do plan on getting a good workout in at home later.
